In the design world, there is a golden rule. When creating a product, an application, or a website, we strive to make it usable, equitable, enjoyable, and useful. This is what we call User Experience (or UX).
UX is fascinating because it forces us to step outside ourselves. It compels us to anticipate how a complete stranger will receive and interact with what we have created. But recently, an obvious question struck me: why do we reserve this powerful tool of empathy solely for our screens?
The Experience of Words
Without realizing it, we are all "designers" in our daily lives. Every time we speak, express our principles, set our boundaries, or take a stand, we are designing an interaction with someone else.
Yet, in everyday life, we often forget to curate this experience. How many times have we heard (or said) phrases like: “Anyway, I just don’t like it,” “That’s my principle, that’s just how it is,” or “I say what I think, too bad if people don’t like it”?
This verbal bluntness often stems from a good intention: the desire to be authentic. But it severely lacks what we, in design, call equity.
Equity is Not a Compromise, It’s Tact
Applying the principle of equity to our words doesn't mean staying silent or giving up our convictions. It means making the effort to phrase our opinions in a way that doesn't unnecessarily hurt the other person. It’s realizing that the person in front of us has their own context and their own sensitivity.
- Expressing a boundary with equity: Instead of saying, “You’re driving me crazy with your stories,” we can design our message differently: “I need a little quiet time right now, can we talk about this later?”
- Sharing a disagreement with usefulness: Replacing the famous “I hate this” with “I’m less comfortable with this idea, here’s why…” keeps the door open for dialogue.
Design as a Philosophy of Life
If UX is so crucial in product design, it is precisely because it keeps our ego in check. It reminds us that what we do has a direct impact on others.
Imagine for a moment if this core principle of the design world were applied globally to society. What if, before every difficult discussion, before asserting our intolerances or defending our positions, we filtered our words through these four pillars: Is my point clear (usable)? Is it fair to the other person (equitable)? Is it phrased with respect (enjoyable)? Does it move things forward (useful)?
We don't need to be designers to craft better relationships. Sometimes, all it takes is choosing our words with the same care we would give to creating a precious object.